Saturday, March 7, 2009


have you ever felt when you given everyhing you have in exchange for that thing you really wanted a for a long time but still not get it? or maybe not everything you have but all the efforts you can give.. me? i did.. alot actually.. life is really unpredictable, especially when you wanted, expected and assumed thats where disappointment exist.. life is really unfair that it will leave you asking "why?"..

DEFEAT is the word friends.. a realy really sad word.. no one wants it.. everybody avoids it.. it is when you fought for everything, wanted things really bad, did all the efforts that you thought will be enough but you didnt got are short of everything. you are DEFEATED.. your efforts are wasted!!! all you can do is cry, sob and whine but those will not change things.. all you should do is accept, stand and walk again..

i expirienced defeat alot of times, life will never let you win all the time. the first thing you need to do is acceptance, dont let your past eat you. "move on, move forward". time is moving and it is moving fast.. then stand up again, dust urself off and this time stand more still,.this time your foundation is better, hold on tighter to ur faith..charge this defeat to your expirience so the next time you can do better.. you can think wiser.. this time you are stronger! the last step is walk, this time walk faster, but still be careful, watch your steps.. make your steps bigger.. make ur past a guide.. and a goal to be better...

defeat doesnt mean you are weaker, its just that at that moment someone is better, just wait for your turn, you will win again..

-i am shad
i was defeated, but will win again
i will never fade!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

my deux ex machina (love)

In literature there is this "deux ex machina" that can solve any conflict the story has. at first i thought this was nonsense until i found my own..

i was on my lowest point, were nothing seems to go right, with that one mistake (not really a mistake i think) things get worse and worse everyday. then she came, i have to admit at first, "frens lang" tlga, but it only took one long conversation to make me feel good again. that night was the greatest. since then i felt something more special towards her. i tried to deny it at first, kc parang wla nmang pg asa tlga (emo?? aha) pero i just cant do it. every time i see her smile i just melt, and that is it. i fell, really hard. hindi q alam pano sasabihin una, because it will be so sudden but then wla mangyayari kung ganun lang ng ganun so dinaan q siya sa kanta. (corny i know aha). lucky by jason mraZ, kc bespren twag q sa kanya nun, since then everything went well..

yesterday, is just the best day ever. her eyes, her smile, everything about her. it seems so perfect.. and now i know i just found my deux ex machina, i found everything that i needed, i found love, i found her. im definitely so lucky.

-i am shad
and i am happy

Monday, February 9, 2009

i was changed

theres an old saying that, "the only thing that is constant is change".. .at first i dont understand or i dont try to understand this, besides bakit kailangan mag bago kung sa tingin mu ur on d ryt track, ur good or your at your best? wel sa tingin q ung mga taong d pinagpala sa karunungan lang ang magh iicp na mag bago pa at those point of times.. .

wel lets take it this way, dati i was really "kuntento" in everything i have (its not that it is a bad thing) but its just that i never wanted anything more. .i never strive harder to get the world can give me.. .ung mga tingin nating "best" na for us would not be really the best for us.. .as i believe nothing is really best, only better..kasi the world would never run out if things that will improve you. .you can never be at your best and if u think u are, that would never be too long.. . time changes, so do we, so should we. dapat lang na makisama tau sa panahon.. .

yesterday, i was with this awesome person who teaches me everything i have to learn, so far.. .and im looking forward for more, ehe.. .she inspires me.. really..

tnxs alot
-i am shad

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

join me to freedom or forever be a slave of the society

im a new blogger, this would be my first time. now i think you would ask me, "bakit ako nag blog?", "nakikiuso ka lang no?". that would be the impression, that many of the those really "judgemental" people would say (base on my expirience). i dont care if u dont read this, i dont expect many people would read this, i dont expect there would be people that will read this, im just here to express my feelings, my thoughts and who i am, im not a good writer im not also a good person nor that bad, but surely im the kind of person who will say things he wanted.. .so i did this!

now, what's with the title? slave of the society? wtf..
i am in this situation where im not really the good side, (as people think) that is why i came up with this whole thing, and maybe, just maybe un din ang dahilan kya naging aq si shad ngayon.

nowadays u cant really express what you want, cause people would always judge you, isang tao lang ang kailangan mo para isipin ng lahat na salbahe ka. society declares what is right or wrong, it is not you, they will change you of what they think is good, it is not you.. .damn you cant be you. minsan they will just judge you base on other peoples opinion, they will not deal woth facts, d na nila aalamin kung anu naging dahilan ng ginawa mu, if they think your wrong then you are! you dont have the voice against them. they will not fucking care what you feel. you are a pretty little bird in the field of those large fatal dragons..

it is not that im telling you to hate them i just want you to wake up, dont be a slave.. express what you feel.. .dont get too hard on their opinions, besides it is your life, it is yourself. they cant make and break you. and its up to you if you let them break you!

-i am shad